Triptocaine and I
by nicoli-oli
Summary: Norman Jayden is a hero. He saved the world from the monstrosity they called: "The Origami Killer". However, the act cost a price- and now he is suffering the consequences...
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to Triptocaine Blues Chapter 1. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! :3**

*****Quantic Dream, I don't own Norman Jayden, but boy do I wish I did*****

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><p>The withdrawals were getting worse.<p>

Every day he would stumble into the shower, letting the water wash over his body, trying to make the pain go away.

He spent sleepless nights mindlessly wandering around his house.

Food started to seem less appetizing, alcohol, more appealing.

Tripto was destroying his life.

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

He had seen many different doctors, trying to find something to help with the withdrawals. They were all stumped. The drug was rare, expensive and was hardly ever used excessively, due to the extreme damage caused to the body and the high possibility of overdose. "Unfortunately", one doctor had remarked, "it's not like we can give you something, like a patch, to help with the addiction."

I should have just taken up smoking, Jayden thought bitterly as he slowly eased himself off the floor of the shower, head throbbing menacingly. He leaned against the wall for a moment, trying to gather his bearings. Blood pooled from his nose and swirled down the drain at his feet. It was all the FBI'S doing, Jayden mused as he leant against the cool tiles.

The Tripto was given as a counter-measure against ARI's negative side effects which includes severe migraines, nose bleeds and hallucinations, to name a few. The FBI full well knew how addictive it was- the bastards just cared more about the effectiveness of the ARI over their worker's lives. Once, Norman had been at the end of his tether, sick of the migraines which were a result of using ARI. It was interfering with his duties and left him nauseated and grumpy as hell. A fellow worker had sidled up to Norman one day as he sat slumped at his desk. He had slipped a small vial of bright blue substance into his pocket before nonchalantly striding away.

And that was when hell was born. From that day on, Jayden was an addict.

Jayden sighed and turned off the water. He slowly wobbled out of the shower and grabbed a towel. Rubbing his hair vigorously with the towel he glowered at himself in the mirror. He was a tall man with a lean yet muscled body. Light green eyes set in a pale face, with a scar on his right cheek. He ran his finger over the bumpy ridge, remembering. Shaking his head, he wrapped the towel around his waist and made his way down the hallway, heading towards the kitchen.

He felt so…. empty. He had managed to save Shaun Mars. The Origami Killer was dead. He should have been happy. But….

His vision blurred. Gasping, he fell against the wall.

The scene was replaying in his head like a horrible horror movie.

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><p><em>He raced to the police station, absolutely drenched, but elated. He had just rescued Shaun Mars from the warehouse and had hurried to release Ethan from his cell so he could see his son in hospital. Madison Paige had heard of the news and was also at the hospital, waiting with Shaun. <em>

_As he unlocked the door to Cell Room 5 and walked in he had gasped out in shock and was yelling, yelling for somebody, anybody… _

_Ethan Mars's limp body was on the floor, blood pooling rapidly from his wrists, a jagged edge of mirror lay in his limp hand…_

_Believing all had been lost and that his son was doomed to drown, He had opened his veins and let himself fade away….little knowing that the man who had arrested him was out saving his son._

Shaking, Jayden lurched off the wall and stumbled into the kitchen. He needed tripto… bad…. but…. he couldn't….. he was trying to quit…. he'd make a coffee….that always seemed to take the edge off a little….

He had just made himself a nice hot cup of coffee (so much better than the shit they served at the police station) when his door bell rang. Glancing at the clock he wondered who it could be. He didn't have any close friends away from Boston- especially any who would visit at this hour.

The doorbell rang again. Insistently. "Allright, allright, I'm coming! Jeez…" Norman walked to the door, looked through the peephole and choked.

Madison Paige was standing outside his door.

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><p><strong>What could Madison want with Jayden? Click the "next!" button to find out, you know you want to...<strong>

**Please review, if possible. I can't improve my writing without feedback from others, be it good or bad ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's Chapter 2! Enjoy!**

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

"Uh… I'll be a second!" he called. He raced into his bedroom and opened the wardrobe. "What could Madison want with me at this hour of the night?" He pondered as he dressed. He walked back to the door and opened it slowly. She was dressed in jeans and a leather jacket, helmet in hand. He smiled awkwardly and held the door open wider. "Hi… Madison, come in…"

He hoped she wouldn't be too long, he had a mountain of work to do on a new case that had popped up at work… which was due for presentation tomorrow. Ugh.

Madison walked past him without a word. Frowning slightly, he closed the door and followed her. She sat down on the couch in his living room. He settled himself down at the other end. Norman fidgeted awkwardly- he didn't know Madison too well. They had briefly spoken in the pouring rain after rescuing Shaun, but that was it. Upon closer inspection, She looked… really pale. There were huge bags under her eyes and her clothes hung loosely on her body.

"Can I… get you a drink?" Jayden offered, hoping to break the ice some. He was kinda craving a drink himself. Madison shook her head furiously, tears brimming in her eyes. He was taken aback. Slowly he edged a little closer toward her and put a hand on her shoulder. She shook it off and stood up suddenly. "WHY? She screamed. Jayden jumped and stood up. "Why did you arrest Ethan?" She sobbed, "You knew he wasn't the Origami Killer and now, he's DEAD!". She punched him in the face at the word "dead". They both stood for moment, Jayden clutching his rapidly swelling eye. "I- I'm sorry, Madison…" he stammered, "I regret it so much…"

Tears were still streaming down Madison's pale face.

"I'm pregnant, with Ethan's child, you bastard!" Madison spat, "and, thanks to you, my child is going to grow up without a father! I hope you're FUCKING happy!" She turned and raced out of the room. He heard the front door slam. Shaking, he sunk to his knees.

He remembered the funeral…

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><p><em>Little Shaun Mars was sobbing in his mother's arms as the casket was carried from the church. It was a freezing day, rain lashing at everyone's faces ,mingling with their tears. He had stood solemnly as he watched the casket being lowered into the ground, tears stinging his own eyes, hidden behind glasses…<em>

Madison was right. It WAS his fault.

Everybody at work had supported him, said he had done the right thing and that it wasn't his fault Ethan Mars had committed suicide.

But, if he had just ignored the fuck- head Blake and listened to his own instincts, he wouldn't have locked up Ethan and he would have still been alive to see his son today.

Thanks to him, Shaun now had no father.

Madison's child would never even know their brave and loving father.

Norman buried his face in his hands- he himself knew the pain of losing a father all too well…

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><p><strong>Sorry for the short chapter! I promise the next one will be longer! :3<strong>

**Review if you can please! :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**The final chapter...**

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

_The hospital waiting room was a drab grey. It smelled. Boring magazines littered the tables._

_He hated hospitals._

_Norman paced back and forth while his mother and younger sister sat on a chair, clutching each other and sobbing. He threw an annoyed glance at them. "He's going to be fine!" he wanted to shout at them, but somehow, he knew that wasn't going to be the case…. He felt numb, like he was in a dream._

_Wheels screeching… screams…a sickening crash…_

_Miraculously, his mother and sister escaped with bruises and whiplash. Norman had a deep cut on his right cheek, that was all. Their father, sitting in the driver's seat, hadn't been so lucky. Norman shuddered as he recalled the mangled body being pulled out of the vehicle. He was surprised his father survived the accident…_

_A Doctor came striding out, his face expressionless. They all turned their attention to him, wet eyes pleading for good news, however hopeless it seemed._

_Norman started to shake. " I'm only 16", he thought, "I can't live without my dad- there's still so much we need to do together…"_

"_I'm sorry. We lost him…"_

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><p>He was shaking now, guilt pouring through his body, tears falling thick and fast onto the carpet. His father would have been ashamed by what he had done...<p>

Jayden stumbled to his bedroom and wrenched open the wardrobe. There, was his stash of Tripto, concealed in a safe at the bottom. The call was too tempting.

He punched in the code with trembling fingers. Eagerly, he snatched up a few vials and lay them on the bed. A bottle of vodka sat on his bedside table. He picked it up and up-ended it into his mouth, feeling the warmth spread through his body. The shaking stopped.

He unscrewed the lid of the first vial of the heavenly concoction, bought it up to his nostril and inhaled deeply. Another two followed suit. He could feel his body relaxing and fell back onto the bed. His muscles started to twitch and he could feel blood pouring out of his nose. "Just… another couple" He thought to himself through the haze. He shakily groped beside him and picked up another two vials. His vision was starting to blur as he inhaled the next two. He knew he couldn't turn back now.

After all, he didn't want to turn back.

He wanted to die.

_High risk of overdose…._

Twitching uncontrollably, his last thoughts were of a man and his undying love for his son. Tears streamed down the pale, bloodstained face. His heart was pounding madly, trying in vain to pump blood around his jerking body. He could feel his chest growing tighter as his lungs started to fail him…

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><p>"Where the FUCK is Norman?" Lt Carter Blake roared as yet another hour passed. Rain lashed the windows outside the police station. Ash looked up from his desk. "It's unlike Jayden to be late. Heck, he's never even taken a sick day since he got here…"<p>

"I'll give the bastard a "sick day". Carter grumbled as he grabbed his coat and car keys.

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><p>All was quiet behind Jayden's apartment door. Blake hammered on the door. "Open up Norman! You sack of shit!"<p>

No answer.

Carter rubbed his face in frustration. Jayden's car was in the drive, so he knew he wasn't out somewhere. True, he hadn't been himself since the Origami Killer case, but that didn't give him an excuse to sleep in!

He broke the door down with a swift kick. He stepped over the door and made his way inside. He shook his head. Surely the door crashing down would have caught Jayden's attention? He started to feel uneasy.

It was deathly quiet.

Something on the table in front of him caught his eye. It was a note. Blake read the words:

_I can't handle it anymore…._

Cursing, Carter dropped the note and stumbled down the hallway.

The bathroom door was ajar. Carter pushed it open.

Nothing.

Only one door in the hallway was closed.

Carter approached it, shaking slightly.

Steeling himself, he quietly opened the door.

A still figure lay on the bed. Vials lay strewn around him, a bright blue substance nestled at the bottom of some. Pale green eyes wide and unseeing stared at the ceiling. A look of peace showed through the dried blood caked on his face.

Carter felt sick.

For all his bitching, he hadn't actually minded the kid. Jayden at least had the balls to stand up to him a few times, unlike all the other submissive losers…

He bent and felt for a pulse on cold neck, knowing it was hopeless.

"…You fucking fool…." Carter muttered.

Such a pointless loss of life.

He closed Jayden's eyes gently, covered him with the bed sheet and left the room.

~The End~

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><p><strong><strong>I hope you enjoyed Triptocaine Blues! No doubt I'll eventually end up writing another fanfic about Jayden in the near future :3<strong>**

**And don't worry, I heart Jayden just as much as any other fangirl... *tear***

**If you enjoyed this then please read my other fanfic titled "A Break in the Clouds"! **


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